Me: Sometimes love can be confusing.
Prodigal: I know God calls us to love.
Me: Maybe this will help clear up some confusion.
This is from Bold Love by Dr. Dan B. Allender and Dr. Tremper Longman III
For example, many people ignore the harm done to them and call it”forgiving” the other. In fact, one reason it may be ignored is the fear of causing conflict. When fear of the other is the undergirding motive for turning the other cheek, it cannot be called love, or forgiving the other. A lot of activity that is seen as spiritual is unfused with fear, pretense, and ritual. The take-care-of-yourself movement accurately sees the potential for what appears to be loving behavior to be based on a heart that is not concerned with love, but with protecting the self or others from difficult truths.
The two options discussed are not without merit, but both leave me empty. The first minimizes pain, and the second undervalues sacrifice. Something is wrong with our understanding of love and forgiveness if popular teaching encourages either (1) a self-righteous pardoning of the sinner based on denial and pretense or (2) a self-absorbed reclamation of the soul through the unbiblical act of forgiving yourself, rather than receiving God’s forgiveness.
We are called to love others and not make it all about ourselves. If someone bullies you into not keeping your boundaries than it is not about God at all, but they are being selfish. They want to use God’s word to twist it so that the focus is about pleasing them. We do not love out of fear. We have peace when we love the way God wants us to love.
Mark 11:25
And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.
Jennifer Van Allen
www.theprodigalpig.com
www.faithincounseling.org
