Me: How was your week?

Prodigal: Great! How was yours?

Me: God is always showing me something.

I was sitting and observing the couple in front of me. They had been sharing part of their story together for the past twenty minutes. At this point, I was not talking much myself but, just listened as they both poured out their thoughts in front of me. They were a christian couple who had been married for over 10 years. I could tell that they loved each other and, it was not something that was artificial but, something that had grown from a spirit that is found in God’s love.

Suddenly I heard the husband say. “This past year, I have learned so much about my life.” I paused. I was not sure I heard him correctly. I repeated what he said and, I found out I was wrong. He had said that He had learned so much about his wife. So I had heard him incorrectly. We all laughed for a minute because he quickly added that learning about life and wife were very closely tied in together.

I finished the rest of the hour with the couple and, we prayed and made another appointment. I continued with my day and eventually the day of work was complete. Once home I began to reflect on the husband’s words again.

Sometimes we think that love is about what can you do for me so that I am happy and, I am able to reach my goals. I may have a family goal, work goal and a ministry goal. Are you going to help me reach them? Yes maybe or maybe not. That question alone determines if you should be my spouse. Or maybe the question is about if you can cook the best, or fix my house. Another determining factor is what you can do for me individually that others cannot. At last we cannot forget about how you can fulfill me with my lust or how you look or the physical part that you provide for me.

The sad thing about that type of love is it is not the love of God and those do not bring the joy of the spirit with them. You can find people all around you that started with a spouse that thought they would be good for work, ministry or family. What was not told was that this choice was not God’s choice and it was a sinful choice and lack of maturity has made it all a disaster. Or we married the best looking person and as time goes on they gain to much weight or they do not age well. We choose someone who can cook or fix your house but at some point the time spent on those activities diminish or diet changes and it is no longer there.

God did not call us to love for what we can get out of it. No He called us to love as He did.

When Jesus showed up to love us, what did he get out it? He got spit on, lied about, insulted, beat and tortured. He was mocked, bullied, and abanoned by us. Then He died on the cross a death that was a mockery for someone who is the son of God.

So why did He do it? He wanted to show love on a personal level. The only way to do that was to allow the enemy to come against Him. He then did not stop the enemy from coming against Him but endured it. The end was dying on that cross and was far from the glory that He deserved.

No God’s love is a personal love and sacrificial love. It is about serving in a way that many will mock. In our society, marriage and God’s love is not highlighted. No, when we choose to love and it looks like someone is taking advantage of us because they choose not to love us back at that time. Make sure to know that we will be mocked and called a fool. They called Jesus a fool for loving us enough to die on the cross and not saving himself.

It is when we love like this that we have figured out a little about what Jesus’s love really is.

So when the husband said wife and I thought he said life and we laughed at the exchange of words. It really was the same. There is no greater love than to lay down your life for another. At times in marriage you will have to lay down your life for your wife. At times that means that you desires, wants, ideas and, plans are laid aside, so that you can truly love your wife.

John 15:13

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

Jennifer Van Allen

www.theprodigalpig.com

www.faithincounseling.org